Sally Cat PDA

I have come to suspect that PDA social mimicry and masking, unlike the mimicry and masking carried out by non-PDA autistics, is hardwired.  My reasons for suspecting this are fourfold: 1) Self-reflection 2) Speaking with non-PDA autistic maskers 3) Speaking with PDAer maskers 4) That my PDAer daughter has masked since toddlerhood Social mimicry is copying what you think is the right behaviour to fit in and get along with people. Masking is hiding your true feelings by acting as if you feel something else, often happy and relaxed.  Social mimicry can, therefore, be thought of as the ingredients from which masks are made. Non-PDA autistics have surprised me by talking about having learned to mask as a bullied child and stopped bothering to do so.  However, PDAers I’ve spoken to have tended to describe their mimicry and masking as hardwired. A study I carried out early in 2018 suggests female non-PDA autistics are far more likely to feel they have learn...

Thoughts on compiling my new book, Neurostrands, which examines four neurodivergent conditions I have (ADHD, autism, delayed sleep phase and PDA) by asking the same questions to members of closed Facebook groups representing each neurotype. The compilation of the book is very much a product of my combined “neurostrands”.  Seeking a positive way to live with late night solitude induced by delayed sleep phase, I have taken to engaging in quiet online projects, such as producing this book. I feel it also worth mentioning that “DSPS (Delayed-Sleep-Phase-Syndrome)” was the first Facebook closed support group I joined, way back before I even suspected my autism or PDA, and many years before suspecting ADHD (which I have connected with most fully through compiling this book).  Unravelling my inner workings (hence this book) is one of my autistic special interests.  Thanks to the discussions transcribed in these pages, I now understand that the hyperfocus enabling me to unde...

"Appearing sociable, but lacking depth" is counted as a PDA trait.  The National Autistic Society in their description of PDA say we “appear sociable, but lack depth in understanding” www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx# .  PDA Society, describing this as surface sociability, explain it as: Appearing sociable on the surface, e.g. People with PDA may have a more socially acceptable use of eye contact. Their conversational skills may appear better than others on the autism spectrum, but this is still often lacking depth in their understanding. For instance, not seeing a difference between themselves and an authority figure, having difficulty in adjusting their own behaviour in response to the needs of others and not always understanding how, or why their behaviour can affect others at an emotional level and thus have a negative impact on their relationships. www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-PDA/about-pda The above PDA Society explanation can be broken down into a cluste...

This is a massive topic which I plan to return to. In painstakingly unravelling the tangle of my head through stripping away acquired neuroses and ongoing exploration of "fits" for my bundle of remainining traits, I have identified a number of  "neurostrands" coexisting within my brain, which are (in order of discovery and/or diagnosis): Dyslexia Dyspraxia  Dyscalculia  Chronic fatigue syndrome* Delayed sleep phase syndrome Female-pattern autism Autism PDA ADHD  * It is argued by some that CFS is neurologically rooted ( link here ) None of my neurostrands operate in isolation.  Each strand, like cogs in a complex watch mechanism, directly affects every other one. Starting with autism and female-pattern autism: many autistics claim all autism is one and the same.  Female-pattern autism, however, includes the distinctive traits of social mimicry and masking.  It was in fact this female autism traits list that prompted me to seek (a...

My Demand Avoidance appears to operate at a level beneath conscious thought and emotion, so for example, if someone tells me what to do/think/feel/like triggered Demand Avoidance causes me to: Object to this person's directive with the equivalent of, "I do not want to that." Feel negatively about the request and sometimes the person giving it. These Demand Avoidance-generated feelings tend to take the form of irritation, anger, resentment and/or withdrawal: "so and so was really thoughtless in pushing that on me!" Or "I just don't want to know, I am no longer interested in what they have to say." This all goes on subconciously so that my triggered emotions feel natutral.  I think I have been seriously pissed off with people because of my Demand Avoidance many, many times in my life. For example, I was seeing a counsellor a year or two ago and noticed that I had suddenly dissociated myself from what she was saying and was feeling awkwar...

I've organised all my graphic memes into a "library" by subject.  Some have been put into more than one section, for example, I've placed memes about anxiety and demand avoidance on both the anxiety and demand avoidance pages. There are around three hundred memes and it was becoming increasingly difficult to find them all, even for myself.  My desktop filing system is far from perfect and this new library should make finding them a lot easier. The next step is for me to caption each one so they can be searched for. In the meantime, here is a list of links to each meme page: Anxiety Autism and PDA Childhood and parenting Control   Co-morbid conditions (Pathological) demand avoidance Diagnosis (including misdiagnosis) Education Emotions (including empathy) Fantasy and role play Hierarchy and rules Impulsiveness Intolerance of uncertainty  Meltdowns Overload and burnout  Quiet space  Relationships Routine    PDA (gene...

Pathological Demand Avoidance is a fundamental part of my being.  It's always been with me (I have never been free from it) and its all-pervasive presence is my Normal. In learning about PDA through joining the Facebook Adult PDA Support Network after I came to suspect having PDA three years ago, I was a bit flummoxed when fellow members stated that you know if you've got Demand Avoidance: it's blindingly obvious.  Well, it wasn't obvious to me and still isn't.  I think I've become so enured to Demand Avoidance, like anxiety, that I don't tend to notice it in operation at all. Although hard to detect, my Demand Avoidance is very much pathological : it is hardwired and present regardless of my attitude towards the things it causes me to feel compelled to avoid. In having lived with PDA my whole life, I am accustomed to it.  The challenge for me is being aware of it.  I feel my pathological Demand Avoidance is an automatic, subliminal trig...