A Quick Guide to Internalised PDA
Introduction
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) research has solely focused on its external manifestations, neglecting those of us who internalise our stresses. Internalised PDA tends to go unnoticed. Our meltdowns are concealed and our demand avoidance is carried out subtly, so that we slip under the radar. However, it’s crucial to recognise that internalised PDA isn’t “less” than externalised PDA; like an iceberg, much of our experience is hidden beneath the surface.
The Hidden Struggles of Internalisers
The driving forces behind internalised PDA are as intense as those experienced by externalisers. This often leads to severe consequences, such as self-harm, school or work dropout, and even suicidal thoughts. It’s essential to spotlight the internalised aspects of PDA, as our ability to mask and conceal our traits results in a lack of understanding from those around us.
This article invites you to explore the lesser-known aspects of PDA, particularly focusing on internalised PDA. We’ll cover:
What PDA is
Internalised meltdowns
Forms of masking
Situational (selective) mutism
Spare play
Adrenal responses
How to support internalised PDA
What is PDA?
To understand PDA, we need to explore its core characteristics. While the concept is still developing, several key traits are widely acknowledged:
Non-rational Demand Avoidance: We PDA individuals perceive almost everything as a demand to be avoided, including beneficial activities (like drinking when thirsty), making it difficult to progress in daily life.
Innate High Anxiety: The constant anxiety associated with PDA leads to heightened adrenaline responses. This can result in emotional paralysis.
Personal Control Need: Our ultra-strong intrinsic need for control can result in significant stress when individuals feel that control is slipping away.
Volatile Emotions: Intense feelings can erupt unexpectedly, catching individuals off guard.
Fantasy and Role-Play: We may shift identities or engage in role-play, which can obscure our true selves.
Social Focus: While drawn to others, we also have a high need for privacy and personal space. We may also develop intense obsessions with certain individuals.
Masking
Masking is common among PDA people, although not all individuals engage in it. While some view masking as a negative coping mechanism imposed by neurotypical society, there are different types:
Imposed Masking: This unhealthy type often comes from external pressures, such as ABA therapy, leading to mental health issues.
Pain Masking: Similar to how prey animals conceal vulnerability, this type involves hiding emotional distress.
Adaptive Communication: This type enables individuals to navigate uncertain social situations.
For many PDA people, masking is an automatic, protective instinct rather than a conscious choice.
Internalised Meltdowns
Internalised meltdowns often go unnoticed. Unlike externalised meltdowns, which are loud and explosive, internalised ones may manifest as suppressed emotions, nitpicking, or self-harm. This can lead to intense internal conflict and feelings of self-loathing.
Experiencing an internalised meltdown can feel like being overtaken by a force that compels the individual to inflict emotional harm on themselves or others, often resulting in profound shame and confusion.
Spare Play
"Spare play," a term coined by speech and language therapist Libby Hill, refers to a phenomenon where children appear to engage in play while remaining emotionally disconnected. Many internalisers exhibit this behaviour, reflecting a desire for connection but lacking the ability to engage authentically. Educators and caregivers should recognise this behaviour as it may mask deeper social struggles.
Situational Mutism
Situational or selective mutism is another facet of internalised PDA. In certain situations, individuals may find themselves unable to speak due to overwhelming anxiety, feeling encased in ice. This often goes unacknowledged and can lead to feelings of isolation.
Atypical adrenaline Responses
Understanding adrenaline responses is crucial in the context of PDA. Common responses include:
Fight/Flight/Freeze: Immediate reactions to perceived threats, often leading to visible reactions in externalisers and more subdued responses in internalisers.
Flop: When escape is impossible, individuals may become completely immobilised or faint.
Fawn: The tendency to please others at the expense of self-care is prevalent in internalisers.
Fib and Funster: Internalisers may fib when cornered or adopt a comedic persona to cope with social anxiety.
Fantasy: Fantasising that a threat is other than it is.
Forget: Obliterating distress from our minds. For example, getting drunk.
Supporting Internalised PDA
Recognising these internalised traits is the first step toward providing appropriate support. Creating an environment where internalisers feel safe to express themselves without judgment is vital. This can include:
Encouraging Open Communication: Establish spaces where individuals can share their experiences freely.
Recognising Signs of Distress: Be attentive to subtle cues indicating an internalised meltdown or anxiety.
Validating Feelings: Acknowledge the struggles of internalisers, reinforcing that their experiences are real and significant.
Conclusion
Internalised PDA represents a complex and often overlooked aspect of the PDA profile. By illuminating this hidden world, we can foster greater understanding and support for those navigating these challenging experiences. Remember, internalisers are not lesser PDA individuals; they simply express their challenges differently. It’s time to pay attention to the depths beneath the surface of PDA.
situationally non-verbal, not mute
ReplyDeleteNon verbalism is not the same as mutism and doesn't only affect autistic people
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