Sally Cat PDA

This blog article was originally written for PDA North America . Masking means hiding your true feelings by having a contrary expression on your face. Physical signs, such as posture, can be masked as well. For example, people can mask feeling upset by holding back their tears and pulling their lips into a smile. Another example is a neurotypical male hiding pain so he appears tough. Anyone who has interacted with the autism community, even for a short time, will be aware that masking is considered a wholly evil, unhealthy and painful practice that can, and should be, dropped. This confused me when I first began to explore my own autism after my adult diagnosis  in 2013. I’d sought this diagnosis after seeing masking and social mimicry described in a female autism traits list. These were things I’d always done without thinking about them. I was perplexed when, after joining an online autism forum, that masking was talked of as something non-autistic people wanted us to do but that ...

This blog article is also available as an animated video: click here to view it PDA research & writing has focused on externalised, freely-expressed presentations of PDA.   However, internalised PDA is often completely missed because our meltdowns are concealed and demands tend to be avoided subtly, and we slip below the radar. We internalisers though are not "less" PDA. Just like an iceberg isn’t smaller than a same-sized lump of ice on dry land: the iceberg merely looks smaller because the majority of its body is hidden from view under the water. Internalising PDAers’ driving forces are just as strong as those that drive externalising PDAers, and can lead to self-harm, dropping out of school & employment, and even suicidal ideation. I believe that internalised PDA needs to be brought into the radar. As we’re so good at concealing our traits, it takes internalisers like me to signpost people to our quieter, less accessible half of the little-explored PDA continent. T...

I’m an adult PDAer author, advocate and artist who masks, and who has a ten-year-old PDA daughter who masks too.  This blog article explores PDA masking: what it is why it is carried out whether it is more common for PDAers than “general” autistic people whether masking is a universal PDA trait what are its benefits and costs What is masking? Masking means hiding true feelings behind a display of emotions we don’t really feel. Often the masked front presented will be one of happy calmness hiding internal stress and anguish. Sometimes also gentle emotions may be masked with aggressive ones. I had a very interesting conversation recently with a trans PDAer who said that, when trying to be the boy she thought she should be, she acted tough and aggressive, and that this had felt empowering until she realised she didn’t want to be like that; that this was not her authentic self. A form of masking is social mimicry. This means copying other people’s words, mannerisms, and bo...