Sally Cat PDA

Introduction Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) research has solely focused on its external manifestations, neglecting those of us who internalise our stresses. Internalised PDA tends to go unnoticed. Our meltdowns are concealed and our demand avoidance is carried out subtly, so that we slip under the radar. However, it’s crucial to recognise that internalised PDA isn’t “less” than externalised PDA; like an iceberg, much of our experience is hidden beneath the surface. The Hidden Struggles of Internalisers The driving forces behind internalised PDA are as intense as those experienced by externalisers. This often leads to severe consequences, such as self-harm, school or work dropout, and even suicidal thoughts. It’s essential to spotlight the internalised aspects of PDA, as our ability to mask and conceal our traits results in a lack of understanding from those around us. A Guided Tour Through Internalised PDA This article invites you to explore the lesser-known aspects of PDA, partic...

This blog article is also available as an animated video: click here to view it PDA research & writing has focused on externalised, freely-expressed presentations of PDA.   However, internalised PDA is often completely missed because our meltdowns are concealed and demands tend to be avoided subtly, and we slip below the radar. We internalisers though are not "less" PDA. Just like an iceberg isn’t smaller than a same-sized lump of ice on dry land: the iceberg merely looks smaller because the majority of its body is hidden from view under the water. Internalising PDAers’ driving forces are just as strong as those that drive externalising PDAers, and can lead to self-harm, dropping out of school & employment, and even suicidal ideation. I believe that internalised PDA needs to be brought into the radar. As we’re so good at concealing our traits, it takes internalisers like me to signpost people to our quieter, less accessible half of the little-explored PDA continent. T...

I’m an adult PDAer author, advocate and artist who masks, and who has a ten-year-old PDA daughter who masks too.  This blog article explores PDA masking: what it is why it is carried out whether it is more common for PDAers than “general” autistic people whether masking is a universal PDA trait what are its benefits and costs What is masking? Masking means hiding true feelings behind a display of emotions we don’t really feel. Often the masked front presented will be one of happy calmness hiding internal stress and anguish. Sometimes also gentle emotions may be masked with aggressive ones. I had a very interesting conversation recently with a trans PDAer who said that, when trying to be the boy she thought she should be, she acted tough and aggressive, and that this had felt empowering until she realised she didn’t want to be like that; that this was not her authentic self. A form of masking is social mimicry. This means copying other people’s words, mannerisms, and bo...