Memes About Relationships


Social relationships confuse me
Social anxiety
Can't let go
Hairdresser stress
Sociability and loneliness

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Internalised PDA - the quieter, but equally impactful presentation of PDA that's hard for people to spot

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This blog article is also available as an animated video: click here to view it PDA research & writing has focused on externalised, freely-expressed presentations of PDA.   However, internalised PDA is often completely missed because our meltdowns are concealed and demands tend to be avoided subtly, and we slip below the radar. We internalisers though are not "less" PDA. Just like an iceberg isn’t smaller than a same-sized lump of ice on dry land: the iceberg merely looks smaller because the majority of its body is hidden from view under the water. Internalising PDAers’ driving forces are just as strong as those that drive externalising PDAers, and can lead to self-harm, dropping out of school & employment, and even suicidal ideation. I believe that internalised PDA needs to be brought into the radar. As we’re so good at concealing our traits, it takes internalisers like me to signpost people to our quieter, less accessible half of the little-explored PDA continent. T...
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The F family of 7 adrenaline responses

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Most people have likely heard of the Fight, Flight, Freeze trio of adrenaline responses, but there are four more F responses which are less well-known: Flop, Fawn, Funster and Fib. I think knowledge of all seven F responses is important in relation to PDA (the pathological demand avoidance neurotype) because we PDAers are naturally prone to ultra-high anxiety. Our naturally high anxiety causes adrenaline to keep on pumping through our systems to trigger these responses. It may seem to casual observers that our F reactions are baseless and/or contrived to attract attention, but the underlying reality is that these behaviours are driven by blind panic, and we have no control over them. So let's explore them one by one: Fight is, perhaps, the easiest F response for people to grasp, because triggered adrenaline causes visible aggression. Happiful.com describe the Fight response as "Your muscles tense, you start to sweat, your heart beats faster – you act on impulse to save and...
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How I understand PDA (in language kids can understand)

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Some people, both children and adults, have brains that say “no” to everything. It’s a bit like a switch that flicks down as soon as we think of doing anything, even things we wanted, like eating cake. It makes the idea of doing these things feel very bad so we want to avoid them. This is known as pathological demand avoidance . About pathological demand avoidance Although pathological can mean a having a bad habit (like pathological liars), when doctors talk about pathological, they mean something is caused by an illness or by the body itself. The doctor who named pathological demand avoidance wanted to show that it is caused by the way brain is built - a bit like how wanting to run away from foxes is built into rabbits. Pathological demand avoidance happens without us thinking about it, so we often don’t notice it, and the bad feelings it gives us (like eating cake being horrible) can seem real. We often only notice it when something is pushed on us by someone else, l...
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